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A high proportion are at least somewhat overweight.

(So are the men, but that's another subject.) The Asians, without exception, are sleek, well-groomed, and dressed with an understated sexiness that never pushes trashy.

They are generally very interesting people who might be putting themselves through school, who are raising families or who pay attention to the world and can hold an intelligent conversation.

Was she charming, attractive, friendly, and flirty? Asking out a server is always risky, because it blurs what is normally a straightforward business interaction.

A totally-dead-inside-woman tends not to complain when you ask for a second ketchup bottle at 3 AM because your friend drank the one that was on the table. This can make a man feel as good as sex, without all of the awkward apologizing afterwards. Waitresses have excellent memories and that makes them look smart. In the days of yore, a woman with a sharp mind could be relied upon to remember where the man put the spear, the milk, the codpiece, the fire, the wimpy baby, the warrior baby, etc.

In lieu of sex, a woman carries food to the man and the man eats that food. It probably has something to do with Caveman Theory. The waitress says, “Hi, sweetie.” The man hears, “You should ask me out.” The waitress says, “I wouldn’t worry about calories if I was you.” The man hears, “You have the hottest body I have ever seen and I want to wear your pants like a hat.” The waitress says, “Come back.” The man hears, “She wants to see me again.

If you saunter too much she’ll either think you’re injured or some creeper approaching in slow-mo.

If you speak a foreign language, surf, or play guitar, you definitely want to let her know.

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