Christian and dating purity

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It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse (more on that later).

Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Now, please, please, please don’t be a freakish weirdo. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage?

In faith, you have become part of Christ's body, and it is Christ through the Church, who must give you permission to join His body to another body. The place where the Church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings are specific acts that grant us permission to have sex with one person. The New Testament makes clear that sex beyond the boundaries of marriage — the boundaries of communally granted sanction of sex — is simply off limits.

To have sex outside those bounds is to commit an offense against the body.

The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance. Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus will alter lives by keeping people out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages). “The one” says you need to find the perfect person. The beauty of marriage is God sustains you despite your flaws. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. You are asked to go from a mentality that says “End a relationship as soon as difficulty arises,” to one that says, “Don’t end the relationship regardless of the difficulty that arises.” That’s a tough switch to flip. Whenever they'd sin, they'd confess to each other and make oaths to never let it happen again. Because of the shame, they never let anyone else in on what was happening.In hindsight, Tim and Jess admit their courtship was a big cover-up of deceit.Abstinence before marriage, and fidelity within marriage — refraining from sex with someone other than your husband or wife — is just one of those basic rules that keeps you inside the Christian community. Practicing premarital chastity is also important because it safeguards and protects marital sex — that is, it protects us, so that if and when we do get married, we are able to experience sex as God intended it to be. Think about the TV shows or movies you've seen, in which people have premarital sex. It is almost always portrayed as being — because, almost by definition, it is part of a relationship that is itself not wholly stable.Even when you've been dating someone for a year, the lack of permanence that characterizes your relationship seems to add a certain frisson to everything you do with that person, from going on a Saturday hike to smooching on the sofa. It becomes a ritual in itself; it becomes a routine.

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